Delusional Self-Image

There are occasions when we are dumbfounded to see our own reflex to a stimulus. On occasions, it comes with a pleasant surprise, and sometimes it leaves us embarrassed. Surprisingly, we do not know what made us to react the way we did. Our reflexes are elusive and may engender feeling of guilt or accolade; in addition, emotions that is associated with these reflex may create a delusional self-image too. And, this is some thing that makes it more interesting.

The thing that we need to understand is the way we reacted has nothing to do with what we are. Our reactions are only learned reflex to a stimulus. Let me elaborate it with an example. We see people shedding tears on occasions. Is it really because they are too sensitive? They may or may be not. These could be just because they are engineered to shed tear in such circumstances. Source of reaction could be any thing. It could be just imitating their parents. My point is that they could be more insensitive than others. Definitely, their tears were not fake. But, emotions come as a reaction. We can not consider their these behavior and can come to any conclusion regarding their sensitivity. Let me do a subjective consideration. I cried to a stimulus. How do I see myself? This has a potential to give me a delusional self-perception.

Finally, actions that we take deliberately make us someone we are. So, it is important to filter out these delusional self consideration to know real our self.

Story

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"I got four doelings! TA DA! ", enthuse Krishna, a eight year girl, to Ali. Abdul Azir, who own a goat farm, had promised her doelings if she help survive an ailing goat, Laila, who was in her fifth month of gestation period. Abdul had lost his hope. Laila was dying. Krishna volunteered her service. She spent subsequent days with Laila. She found Laila very adorable and well-behaved. In meanwhile, Laila had also started showing some improvement. And, today, an hour before the dawn, Laila had given birth to four babies. She was unconscious for an hour and had opened her eyes with sun. Abdul Azir kept his promise and gave away baby goats to Krishna. It was big accomplishment for little Krishna. Krishna was spellbound for a moment. Her excitement was bouncing like anything. 

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"Is there any post from Bauji?" asked Krishna to Ramdin Taaya, expecting a different response this time. She read his gesture and biked away. It had been two year since his father left home and she never received a single post from him since then. It was rumored that he might never return. Ali told Krishna that he heard Kirman's father insinuating that Vishnu is no more. She cried that day and asked her mother at night while she was tucking her to bed. "Don't you listen to these gossips.", her mother said. "Last night, a nightingale came to my dream and foretell his return". Krishna smiled and this concern never bothered her again.      

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Next day, Krishna  visited Ali's house, which was two blocks apart from her own. She found Ali in his backyard doing what Ali calls "helping plant preparing food". Before this winter break, science teacher had told in class that plants cook their food from sunlight. He was wielding his knowledge by moving a Tamarind plant from shadow to sunny area. Krishna knew that Ali's father won't be happy to found this out. "Hey! why do not you just sit down and rather help me?", asked Krishna. "I was wondering what could be appropriate names for our new friends".

हर घरी किसी की आस तो नहीं होती

हर घरी किसी की आस तो नहीं होती |
सुख्त होठो को हमेशा प्यास तो नहीं होती ||
गुम हो गये है इन भटकती रास्तो में |
फिर भी हर वक़्त मंजिल की तलाश तो नहीं होती ||

हर चेहरे में कही वो बात तो नहीं होती |
दिल टूट जाये फिर भी हमेशा वो अह्सास तो नहीं होती ||
खुश तो है इन साथ बिताये लम्हो में |
फिर भी हर पल साथ बिताने की कही बात तो नहीं होती ||

A new Beginning

He was alone, lonely
in middle of crowd.
It was because his lack of
willingness to get associated.

His life was hell, suffocating
in an uncovered paradise.
It was because of his lack of
sense to enjoy.

He was slave, hostage
of his unrestricted freedom.
It was because of his lack of
adequacy to handle liberty.

He messed up his life.
Life was much scarier than death.
But, He didn't commit suicide
when things went wrong.
He didn't turn to drugs
when he was depressed.

One day poetry flowed
through his veins;
And he learned to write.
He realized the essence of
having right attitude.
Poetry gave a new life to him.

Correlation

Obscurity is the carrier of brightness
Hatred nurtures the feelings of affection
Warfare constrains to live in serenity
Infidelity strengthens the devotion in between
Servility impels to strive for liberty
Failure is a step ahead toward the success
Death gives meaning to life

What U see in my eyes is reflection of yours

Veracity is secluded
Buried like life in seeds
Embedded as future in present.

Seeking outside is meaningless.

Comtemplate within
Does not matter what you see
That's truth of your life.

Same as
Light is wave or particle or both
How does that matter
Unless you want something to realize.

Aap To Aise Na The

ठंढी आँहे यूँ भरते हो मियाँ |
दिल में कुछ छिपा है लब्जे बयां भी कर दो ||
चहरे पर हँसी लिए फिरते हो मियाँ |
आँखों की सुरखियों को लब्जो की सकल भी दे दो ||

यूँ ना छिपाओ मुझसे साँसे बयाँ जो कर रही |
निन्दो का यूँ रूठ जाना, तन्हाईयो में भी मुस्कुराना |
यादो की बादलो का घेर आना, आँसुओ की बुन्दो का रह रह कर आना |
सब कुछ बयाँ तो कर रही ||

Slow poison

Life will revert back;
It will reinstate after a break;
Days will heal all my wounds;
sky will be luminous again after dusky clouds;

I programmed my mind to forget;
I cut out all strings connecting;
I left behind every thing which could remind;
But I failed to keep her out of my mind.

Nothing I could do other than waiting;
Waiting with a hope to be with her again;
I accepted to live with her memories alone;
I'm happy to have every thing I wanted except her;
Happy with a teardrop in my eyes!!

Unconditional Love

Last few months were a beautiful journey of ours,
passed more in seconds, less in hours;
My beliefs deepened with the each passing moment,
that I will be yours for every upcoming seconds.

I made a promise to myself;
A promise to love you more and ever,
i want to love you the way I have never;
A promise to be with you forever,
no matter you are near or further than ever.

A promise to keep your smiling
till the day I am over;
A promise to kiss your pain and wipe away
your tears making them mine forever.

You will be in my dream, no matter where you are;
I would love you forever love true;
Thank you, thank you for the showing how it feels,
after all love is a beautiful feeling;
You were right there for me,
but I lost you for my own sheer destiny.

Satisfaction

I was staring at my laptop, sitting on my blue-circular chair, and after just rolling my eyes down, I found myself standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for something, may be a impelling thrust of air, may be this was the end of life, but, there was strange satisfaction on my face, a satisfaction of keeping a promise, a promise that I made to myself, a promise to keep-on striving for dreams, a dream for changing the life of thousands and thousands of people living in the dearth of poverty, poverty that I consider the curse on humanity. I dreamed of a society with equal opportunities for every one. Life must provide a variety of openings, and every body should have their freedom to choose, I believed, and strove whole life to realize this. After keeping my convictions alive for so many years, finally I was on the verse of my own end. All of a sudden I lost my balance, and then I was on the floor. I was trancing, but, I still remember the satisfaction I had on my face.

Jab Yaad Tumhari Aati Hai

याद तुम्हारी आती है तो घन बन कर छा जाती हो
घनन घनन करके दिल की बेचैनी को बढाती हो
बिजली की तलवार से एक दर्द सी दे जाती हो
रिम-झीम रिम-झीम बारिश बूंदों से फिर ठंढक सी पहुचाती हो
वीराने से मरुस्थल में फिर हरियाली सी छाती जाती हो
खुसियाली का रोमांच इस सुने जीवन में फैलाती हो
याद तुम्हारी आती है तो घन बन कर छा जाती हो

Woman

Woman has been depicted as nature for very long. Literature is full of such works. Both are mysterious, beautiful, caring, breadth taking and inspiring. Difference is elusive to many of us. Though I do not have any intention to objectify woman. I see nature as a part of woman. And, my realization gets intensified as I see a part of their own body running in outside world. Aggression is not an option for woman. She can not be aggressive as whole nature is part of her. I believe that feminine prospective and participation is much needed in all aspects of society and especially research. Feminist input has much potential to balance the world. Nature is vulnerable to exploitation. Men are mainly concerned about getting most out of nature. Increasing the load and pushing nature to its limit is of their major interest. An objective prospective towards Nature is unbalancing and putting the sustainability of whole system in peril. We are sincerely looking forward to woman to actively participate and lead us to peace with nature.

Friendship

In a mountainary place, a little sparrow is flittering in the sky. There is a strange sparkling light in his eyes. Why should not he be cherished, today, he has done a new friendship with the breezes. Little sparrow had a dream to flutter in the sky, and now It has come true. He is on his maiden flight, and he is twittering to express his bliss. Wind is also enjoying his company. Suddenly a breeze crosses after touching him. He looses his balance for a moment. He is surprised and little disappointed by the winds behavior. Then he realizes that the breezes have their own ways of expressing love. Now they are tied in unbreakable relationship, and they are friends for ever.

Unpredictability

Knowing the path, and walking through it is entirely different thing. People often get lost even if they know the path.

Lack of courage, motivation, confidence, or willingness may be some of reasons. In some case, people even want to get lost. Some other eventually reach their destiny, and discontinue their journey. Uncertainty makes the journey more attractive as walking on the known path is boring.

Blessing or Disaster

Fall of Berlin wall and failure of 'Soviet Union' was a formal declaration of end of an era. Message was clear and loud. For the first time since 1917, we had accepted the unpleasant aspects of a market system—inequality, unemployment, injustice—as facts of life. It did not happened overnight. The collapse began ,rather oddly, in china when Deng Xiaoping adopted 'Socialist market economics' policy in 1978. Certainly it took the rest of the world a long time to grasp that a billion people had quietly abandoned Marxism. Y Kojaman writes, "The real collapse of the Soviet Union occurred after March 5, 1953, the day that Stalin died or was killed." Many socialists think, socialist-capitalist system of Soviet Union was accused for USSR collapse.

What ever be the reason, but, we accepted that a bunch of people, so called visionaries, can only get us out of poverty. We chose to be prosperous, and slave, rather than free and poor. But, remind you, the securing of maximum profit is the laws of capitalism. This system will sustain only till, there will be a chance of profit making. We know, most of constructions and development work has been already done in western society. Now Asian countries are working as a driving force of development, and hence growth for rest of world. Capitalism has its own limitation.

Sustainability of such system, i believe, would be really challenging. Capitalism would ultimately lead to a truly socialized world with no poverty. Transition, from a capitalistic world to a socialized world, would not be so easy. A little mistake in transition phase would do a disaster.

Freedom

Three dimensional world is naturally perceived. In contrast, forth dimension time is harder to grasp. I believe that people were not aware about this fourth dimension in old ages. They were mostly concerned about searching food to fulfill their appetite. They were not concerned about future. Slowly, they started thinking about future. Consequently, they started gathering food, and later on they started cultivating the crops. Unfortunately, We are still trapped in that phase. We waste most of our time in fulfilling our basic requirements. We need a system that will take care of our needs. Then, we will have all of our time with us, and our family. That would be a landmark for our civilization, and one step ahead towards "Freedom".

Money works

Most of the people work for money. But, money works only for few people. Let me put it in more direct way. Most people work for their livelihood. But, there are few people for whom money works. Money generates surplus for their living. They invest in real state, stocks, futures-options, or other potential areas of benefit. In return they generate the passive source of income. They do not have to work any more. These people are financially free, and enjoying their life in real sense. They are free to do what ever they like. They work for their happiness, their satisfaction, and because of their motivation. I wish, I could make money work for me someday!!

Conflict free society

The society that we live in is no longer the same as it used to be. Technology has changed every thing. Now, world is more flat than ever. I have always dreamed of a conflict free society. This is only possible if every body has equal opportunity to grow. But, I do not see it going there. We urgently need a correction in the direction to avoid the danger of India moving in the direction of being half California and half sub-Saharan Africa. It is not only government responsibility. Even private sectors, and individual would have to take responsibility. This approach worked for US. They were successful in bring the 'African American' in main stream. Now this is our turn.

Work on fundamentals

Few days back, I came to know about a paradoxical mathematical result. My brain was boiling with possible justifications. It was like, Grandi's series had awaken each and every neuron of my brain. I was being restless. I could not accept the result because it was challenging very fundamentals of mathematics. I had to figure out trick involved in solution. After a long brainteaser, I could understand the underline philosophy.

This incident taught me a very important lesson. Our daily observations and circumstances affect us a lot. Some events are astonishing, unexpected, outrageous, and shocking. It raise the question on our faiths, believes, and touch us so deeply that we often fail to distinguish between correct and wrong. This, paradoxical mathematical result, was one those kind. I began to doubt on the fundamentals of mathematics for a while. We can only overcome these situations, if we are fundamentally strong. Otherwise, we will take wrong conclusion, which may paralyze our future.

Solitary journey

My grip was tight on the ceiling bar. I had adjusted myself quite comfortably with support of side bars.  I spread my legs and leaned forward to counter jerks.  I was little excited. The feeling of moving forward was giving me enough strength to carry on this journey. Things were going as expected. I was packed in a bus with bunch of passengers. Space was just enough to fit in. Passengers were getting in and rolling down at stops. But, crowd was consistent. I enjoyed company of fellow passengers.

I began my journey with a road map provided by some trusted people. I believed that it will guide me to right way. But, lately I have figured out, it need correction. My destination is different. I need to figure out my own path. Now, Journey is going to be different. I am hoping, It would be more excitement and thrill.

Inner conflict

I do things. But, every thing that I do is not entirely my will. I make up my mind to do some thing, but end up doing some thing else. This is another me who wants me to live different life style, with different goal and prospective of life. Situation gets worse by existence of many such me. Every time I fight with myself to take control of my mind.

These conflicts will be revealed soon. Continue reading.